By Rev. Walt H. Windley, IV, MDiv.; Sr. Director Spiritual Care & Grief Services, VIA Health Partners
Located just off S. Main Street and across from Falls Park on the Reedy in Greenville SC, Group Therapy Pub and Playground is just one of those places that yearns for the inner child to let loose and have fun! As one working in the field of spiritual care and grief support, this writer enjoys the simple “play” on words, noting the invitation to embrace a “therapy” that is sure to delight at any age.
From tackling indoor minigolf to throwing an axe or playing arcade games, there is literally something for everyone. The owner envisioned a place of connection, recognizing that far too many of us drudge our way through the work week failing to ever make that all-important link with another in a meaningful manner. And let’s be honest; that tracks for us!
Katie Stiles, writing for PsychCentral in 2019, defines connection as an interaction where both persons or parties feel valued, seen and heard. You walk away from the encounter feeling nourished, akin to drinking from the well of holistic care. However, the irony in all of this is that the digital boost in online interactions seems to be driving a greater sense of loneliness.
Harvard conducted a study on loneliness in America, finding that 3 in 5 adults reported being lonely pre-pandemic. And guess what…that number continues to trend upward! As mental health experts point to the importance of human connection for improved quality of life, sense of fulfillment, and longer life expectancy, where have we gone wrong, and do we even care?
As Furman alumni, my sister and I appreciate everything that Greenville has to offer; and admittedly, she is the one who introduced me to Group Therapy. But it’s the Brene Brown quote posted on their website that really drew me in. “It takes courage to say yes to rest and play, in a culture where exhaustion is seen as status symbol.”
For this writer, that is a full-on, mic-drop moment. It’s incredibly appropriate that the guru of research on shame and guilt would also be the one advocating for more play and rest in our daily routines. It seems that we have developed an unhealthy obsession with exhaustion and maybe that trait lends itself to a generational problem. I would argue that we don’t work ourselves to the bone simply for the sake of exhaustion; there must be an underlying issue (one that is as varied as those who experience it) that drives us to that point.
Perhaps it’s wrapped in our need to be needed, acknowledging a fear deep within that a moment of pause or rest would demonstrate vulnerability regarding our status or place within a company or friend group. The emotional power and threat of this feeling spills over from our professional to personal life, whispering in our ear that every single one of us is replaceable. In our inability to hold both personnel worth/value and replaceability in healthy tension, we opt to satisfy the former by eliminating the latter, sacrificing what we need for personal health and meaning to ensure a sense of cemented place.
Perhaps we wrestle with the gift of rest simply because it allows the pain of the past to catch us, finding that constant movement allows for avoidance or deterrence, a form of denial. Maybe it’s expectations, a need to succeed, an unbalanced work ethic or a desire to better one’s self in the race for what feels like the ever-elusive American dream. Regardless of where we fall, we tend to discard this notion of play like week-old leftovers, turning up our noses and trying to avoid the stench of what can’t possibly be good for our wellbeing.
Yet spirituality is rooted in connectedness…connectedness to God, to meaning and understanding in the world, to ultimate purpose and to the value that is found in giftedness, displayed in both sorrow and joy. What would it look like to face my replaceability, worth (as viewed through another’s eyes) and fear/insecurities with great courage, trusting that play and rest are catalysts for a healthier “you/me?”
I’m not necessarily calling for a revolution of play; and for critics of this theory, yes, accountability in the workplace and a strong ethic of commitment remains critically important. This is not an excuse to adopt laziness; in fact, it is the exact opposite. What I am advocating for is better work-life balance, recognizing the value of deep relationships, seeking intentional connection and understanding that every emotional and spiritual tank needs to be filled…something, my friends, that will take great courage.
